As I sat and tried to empty my brain and bask in this nice, over priced buzz that I had going from the Key West airport. I gazed out the tiny window and stared at the airtran.com vinyl lettering on the wing. "That's great advertisement" I thought as I sat and pondered what font it was and what grade vinyl the decal was made out of. You see, I grew up working under my Dads wing in our family owned sign shop. Typically, when I have been drinking I draw on this ridiculously useless knowledge to entertain myself. Before I knew it my mind was running wide open and thinking about signs. Which is a really shitty subject to be mentally wrapped up in.
Anywho, as the plane took off and I looked down at the Key islands get smaller and smaller I pondered how different my life may have been had I never left home. What if I was still painting signs with Dad? What if I didn't walk away from my sprint car team? Would I still be racing? What if I hadn't walked away from a great relationship? Would I be married? Yada Yada "What-if What-if" it was exhausting and unsettling. All of those questions bounced around in my head. When I decided to move to North Carolina it was a hasty and fast decision. In twenty-four hours I walked away from an amazing race team, a boy who worshiped the ground I walked on and my best friends who just so happen to be my Mom and Dad. I never once asked myself those questions on the forefront of this expedition. "Why didn't I ever ask myself 'what if' before I left?"The conclusion I came up with was, because I had everything ahead of me. These days I seem to be trapped in my mind, swimming in the memories of the past. Wondering if this is it. If this is the end of the amazing journey I have been on. Quite honestly, I don't feel like it is the end but I have definitely pulled out of the passing lane to do some coasting for a while.
That day on a north bound plane, in a semi-sober :that's being generous: state I answered a lot of questions for myself. Lets just say that I stayed in Maryland, I believe I would probably be married, still working with my favorite person everyday, Dad, and I would likely still be racing sprint cars. And on this day, as I sit in my back yard next to a fire and write this blog those few things seem to be all that I need to make my life complete :I feel certain the whole marriage thing is a phase, Ill snap out of it just as soon as all of my friends finish their wedding marathon: Annnnywho, had I stayed I would however, have missed out on all of the Life Points I have gathered over the past 8 years. I have had the opportunity to see and do some pretty amazing things. I won't spill on and on about them because frankly I feel like my life has been nothing short of silly and to rehash them all would be bragging and I really hate when people brag,Dont get me wrong.. I LOOOOOVE to brag but I hate when people do it to me so, yea, theres that.
Tonight I walked into my office in Cornelius, North Carolina. I sat down at my desk and looked around at all of my memorabilia that I have obtained over the past 8 years. I like to consider these to be remnants of Life Points. Life Points to me are moments that mark exact dates in ones life. Monumental moments, events and experiences. Kind of like "The Game of Life" that we played as kids except we aren't cruising around in a little orange plastic car with little blue and pink pegs as family. :try to follow me here:
Jumping out if a plane. Life Points. Getting paid to wreck a car. Life Points. Testing a car at Daytona. Life Points. Sneaking in a little self bragging in your blog. Life Points. If I had stayed in Maryland I may have the three key essentials that I love the most: Family, Love and Contentment but I would have missed out on so many amazing memories..
There is an invisible hour glass of sand floating about everyone's head. How much sand is left, no one really knows but I want to continue on not worrying about the 'what ifs' of life but gather up as many life points as possible cause when we go, that is really all we leave behind. Moments and memories.